I know that people might not like to hear about Starbucks again, but I can’t help it. As Elaine mentioned, it’s part of my family. My brother works at a Starbucks somewhere in Vancouver. Everytime one comes into view or mentioned within earshot, my mom makes a comment about how much he likes to work there, or praises the benefits the company has to offer. So I am unable to avoid it’s force. (My brother was unavailable for comment at this time. It is still in debate whether he does in fact enjoy working there).

I think it’s a cult.

Employee’s are referred to as Barista’s. That’s scary. It sounds like a rank in the armed forces. I don’t know what army it is, but it sure isn’t the Canadian army. They don’t even speak english there. I don’t know what language it is, but that beverage menu is NOT english. Ordering one cup of coffee requires as many words as it does to order a meal for four at McDonald’s. I’m scared to order anything at Starbuck’s. I know that if I screw up my order and (heaven forbid) I say ‘large coffee please’ instead of ‘mucho grande latte por favor Senora Barista’, the nice girl behind the counter will correct me and repeat my order in the proper lingo. She doesn’t do this to offend me, she does it because she’s supposed to. It’s the Starbucks way. It’s so that I can become knowledged in the ways of ordering coffee in the Starbucks fashion, and maybe someday become part of the Starbucks Barista Army. You don’t have to be an employee to be part of the SBA. You don’t have to go to their brainwashing Coffee College either. Customers are like the army’s reserve. You rarely go into combat, but they give you the basic training.

So beware my friends, they’re out there to convert you. My family has been converted. I’ve never asked my parents about this, but it’s clearly evident in the amounts of free coffee and tea stored in our kitchen. Starbucks offers such fringe benefits to blind you from seeing that you are actually part of a cult.

That’s just my small take on it.

Enjoy your brew.

Starbucks wants you!