# straight from my heart—–
# giving you all that i have left now……..
# give me more reason to continue.
# give me a reason to be content.
# give me what i need…………….
fuck this
fuck that
fuck them

my life has shown me.
my life has shown me what i am.
what i have become.
what i can’t escape.
what i have to accept.
what i have to overcome.
that i have to face the day ahead of me.
that i have to despise what i see.
that i forgot when i went wrong.
that life is just a river of tears to me.
i’m still waiting for it.
i’m still waiting for you.
i’m still waiting for them to come.
i’m still waiting for certain leaders to step down.
i’m still waiting for their children to go to jail.
so they can join me in prison.
i’m still waiting for hope to find me.
i’m still hoping that there is something besides pain for me.
i’m still waiting for the day when i can not be fucked up.
i want it all back—–i want to be human, i want to survive, i want to feel alive again.
life has cheated me—-so i have to be hard.
i have to be hard to survive.
when did the time come that it was too hard for us to cry?
when did it happen that i had no one to talk to?
killing everyone.
killing me.
killing you—-like the bitch that you are.
fuck you—and all of your lies and fake promises.
sid—you called me what i am.
you know me better than anyone——described me better than my mother.
so tell me—where is it?
where is it all gone to?
tell me. make me fragile again.
make me depend on others again.
sometimes it feels like i’m all alone in this world.
sometimes i just wanna go and weep over the lost brothers—–all of you can rest now, i carry all of you.
even the ones that are living still—-i still wait for you to get off of the junk that has you enslaved.
is this another wasted night?
is this another wasted life?
is this another wasted post?
is this another waste of hate?
is this another waste of blood?
are we a waste of human blood?
are we a waste of the human race?

please me. abuse me.
are we just a world of shit, and world of lies, a world that has gone insane with the gap?
i don’t know anymore.
all i have are questions.
all i get are more questions.
all i need is my lovers.
i have two that i love now—–and only 1 is human.
she knows me better than i do.
the other knows how i feel, and treats me accordingly.

i kill to see both of them—-they are close to each other, and even closer to me.

fragility is a virtue—-and so is the working man.
i’m working to be fragile everyday.
treat me as you would your buddy who is tired.
treat me like the kid you never liked.
treat me like your asshole brother-in-law.
or your sister-in-law.
show me the nihilism that has evolved into humanity.
show me the arthritis that is speech now—–talk to me, and say “like” and “you know” for me.
tell me you do drugs–tell me you shoot up.
give me someone to cry for–give me someone to worry about….
all my old brothers have lost me—they’ve lost themselves to narcotics.
the big H, and the big C has killed them.
they have killed a big part of me, through them.
give me a new whiskey—i need some liquid pain-killer now.
i need.
i hurt.
i survive.
i hate.
i love.
i am fragile.
i need you………….
talk to me, you know who you are.