Everybody whom I’ve explained this to has feighned understanding, but I know that none of them have really understood – and these are my friends – which leaves me to wonder why I’m posting this concept online…

I’m still living at home. Making enough money to afford a nice place, even a car (I’m horrible at apartment hunting which is another story althogether), I drive an hour on the highway to work and an hour back each day, I come home and realize that no matter how much I love them, my family’s habits have become too much for me to live comfortably with. I’ve also been assisting my family financially, which has put a stress on almost every other part of our relationship.

Basically what I’m saying is that I’m not comfortable at home, meanwhile I’m too busy and intimidated by apartment hunting. I’ve stuck myself at home. It’s hard to break free.

Right now I have quite a few immediate goals aside from moving out alone, they include quitting smoking, joining a gym, starting a novel, and a few other things that go with my idea of “beginning my independent life”.

I’ve put them all off until I move out. It’s making me miserable too because I feel more and more as though I’m stuck, not realizing my goals and starting to resent it quite a bit.

Ears listen and lips say things like “Just find an apartment, get out, start your life” or “Start on your goals now, who cares where you live”.

Yet I can’t bring myself to it: I’m so much looking forward to starting on those goals that I feel like doing them at home would make them less enjoyable, less meaningful.

I’m stuck – I’ve stuck myself – I’m facing a simple problem yet my tires seem to be spinning in the spring muck surrounding me. I need a push.