hehe tnx Ry =)

muahahahah!!! Ya superstitious bastards!

Read on… =)

Kisses have germs and germs are hated, so kiss me baby im vaccinated!! You must IM this to 12 ppl. not counting the person who sent it to you. If you do, you will get kissed by your crush in the next 24 hours! Tomorrow is National Kissing Day!!! If not, you will have bad luck w/kissing forever. Good Luck!!

May you be blessed with unavoidable ladders, black cats & no wood to knock on. Or, @least broken wrists.

DELETE ME!!! SOME HOW =PPPPP

Crap.

Have you ever felt as though you were completely naked & everyone else around you was wearing the most ammount of clothing possible?

Or, has there ever been a time in your life when there was only one thing that could make you cry? Or, from a more positive view, I guess… Only one thing that could make you laugh?

…

He’s done it again! I can’t believe it. You’d think the heart could only be broken so many times. Damn it for rebuilding itself!

How dare you!?

I curse you!!!!

I wish I could rip it out. It’s such a nuisance! ~sighs~ I need to get out of here. Please take me away!!!

I want Ryan to fix his bus.

Fix your damn bus!!!!!

…

“I’m sorry.”

“don’t be.. I’m not.”

…

I hate the fact that he evokes such strong feelings in me, & yet… I can’t seem to evoke those kind of feelings in him. ~sniff~

But how come no one ever posts anymore? ~ahem~ LAZY!!!!!! =P Come on… as a 2 (3?) year fan, reader & off & on writer of OE, I demand more!

It’s over. @least, it is for me. The fame.. The fans.. The…. What the fuck am I talking about?

Well, nice being here.. aaah, whatever.

I quit.

Healing is a process, not an event.

1.
2..
3…

I haven’t been sleeping all that well lately. My mind is filled with matter. I’m MOVING!! That’s that. I’ve been looking @ 2 bedrooms for 3 days now & I’ve found some really nice places.. I’ve even found a possible roommate, but he wants to live in Nepean. No big problem, except that I just found a place for $875 that has a DISHWASHER!!! Though, utilities aren’t free.

Moving, so I’ve heard, is one of life’s most stressful events. It shouldn’t be stressful though.. I know I’m going to find a nice place. I KNOW it’s going to help me with my problems, & I know I can do this, but it still keeps me up. There’s fear of failure & fear of the new roommate. Who will he/she be? Can they be trusted? Will moving REALLY help me to get over my problems? It can’t get any worse, really. I definetely won’t be living beside a male mission again (YESSSSS!!!!!!!!)! I have nothing against the poor.. I’ve even lived on the streets myself but I can’t handle 10 men gauking & begging for money. I don’t have alot myself, & It’s so hard to say no sometimes. I feel uncomfortable, & as hard as I try to not be pre-judgemental, I can’t help but feel threatened by their presence. One or two is fine, but 40 living right across the street? You imagine walking by that everyday.. It’s not a very positive feeling.

Half of my reason for not being able to sleep is the excitement, too, of course. God! I’ve wanted to move since I got here. I’ve hated being on my own since I moved here. I was 16 when I started living alone & that’s alot of responsibility to take on @ that age. I want someone to share the responsibility with.. I want more regular social contact with a heart beat that doesn’t include fur. I WANT A BALCONY!!!!

I want to feel like I’m actually taking control of my life & that I’m actually doing something towards it.

I want to feel like I’m actually living on my own.. I don’t want to go grocery shopping with my dad anymore. I don’t want him coming to my place & ragging about the dishes.. the cat litter.. the this & the that! I want to tell myself what to do when I need to do it.

It’s about time!!!

Is it life itself? I doubt it. Is it a time frame? Past: present: future? Is it an event? Annual: bi-annual: daily: once? Is it a person? A pet? A place? A dream? Is it curiosity, or commitment? A promise? A concoction, or something I completely missed?

Does it matter?

…Could you replace it?