The porn store wants to hire me. I have to swing by there tomorrow. That’d be cool I think, though my dad doesn’t like it. I said, “Well, I could work there anyways and not tell you anything,” so he was quiet. My boyfriend said he’d like me to work there JUST to say where his girlfriend works. (I suspect he has other reasons.) I think I like the idea. I mean, cheap porn, cool hours, nice pay – I dunno if I can handle seeing which men come in at what times though… what if they’re my Starbucks customers? Well, I guess it’s okay, I mean if I worked there they’d see ME too… so I guess it’s all good. Everyone loves porn right?

I’ve been reading everyone’s posts lately… very nice, very nice. I clicked my own name and realized that my posts are quite different from everyone else’s. Everyone’s inner thoughts, dreams, and personal goals are thrown onto the pages of this website, whereas I write about mythical creatures and astrology. I’ve also noticed my writing seems romanticized… to me anyways, I write like I’m in a daze, like I’m daydreaming.

I’m not. This is how I think. Many things go on all around me. Lastnight I was at my boyfriend’s house drinking beer and smoking and driving around his massive backyard on a track, after which we returned $60 worth of beer bottles and got subs and chips. I’m stressing because I need to find my high school diploma for a job interview I have at TD Bank. I’m worrying about my rent and car insurance and wondering how much money I’ll have to live till my next paycheque. This is what I do… I worry, but to calm myself I research things, like the stuff I write about, and I write a lot and draw and sing and dance.

So I’m not NOT thinking about practical things, just because I don’t talk about my day or my thoughts on life… I deal with immediate problems in my own way. I hope that’s okay.

Warning! Do no even think about pitching your tent too close to a Bunyip hole. The Bunyip may rise up, thumping and splashing out of the water, and destroy everything, and everybody who is camped nearby.

Stoves, clothes, sleeping bags, fishing poles, and tents will fly in every direction while the terrified campers or fishers make a run for safety. Then, satisfied that everyone is gone, the Bunyip will slip happily back into its watery home. A Bunyip does not like anyone near its billabong.

Bunyips live in deep water-holes, called billabongs, all across Australia. The aborigines warned the first Europeans who came to their land about this monster.

The Bunyip has slimy weeds for hair, a long flat tail, and a huge head. Others just think that it looks weird and with its wide webbed-hands, slimy big feet, and ugly scaly skin dripping with muck, you would not want to invite a Bunyip over to your campfire.

One story tells of a fisher that caught a baby Bunyip. Even though his friends begged him to let it go, he did not. When the mother Bunyip found her baby gone, she caused the water to rise until the land was covered, and her baby floated back to her.

There’s this invisible line that I don’t want to pass.

I mean, I do want to pass it, and be there eventually… in that blissful blind world, but not yet.

I’m not ready.

I can see it happening soon, I just don’t know when. Maybe it will be a surprise, and suddenly thrown up in my face.

I hope I’m not scared away… fuck I hope he’s not.

It’s coming soon, and when it does… when I jump into that happy world I’ll tell ya, all my writings will be sugar-coated and rose-coloured.

Heehee, I can’t wait.

I’m sorry I haven’t written in a while… I’ve been busy searching for a new job. It’s hard applying at hotels and insurance places and such when you have no experience. For some reason different banks seem promising, which is very good. How have you all been? I’ve noticed Online Epiphany has slowed down a little. Well, maybe the initial excitement has died down; everyone’s resting. That’s okay, I’m sure it will become steady. My fellow writers, Wes, Buck, Sid, and Ryan seem to write on a fairly regular basis so I’m sure everything will work out. I think, personally, I’m a bit discouraged, by the lack of responses that we all get. I mean, I don’t expect a comment for everything I post, but it would still be nice to see what all you readers, wherever you are, think. Actually, I have a question, which is this: What have YOU been thinking about lately? I mean, what have you been pondering, dealing with, dreaming of? Tell me… tell us… hey, it might just open up some new thoughts (ooh scary).

Notice the nice weather? Notice the smile on everyone’s faces? But have you also noticed everyone’s driving? It’s a bit more risky, don’t you think? Have you noticed people seem to have less patience than before? Well, I don’t know about you, but I’ve noticed all these things.

It’s the new zodiac year you see, the sign of Aries rules right now. It’s the time of new beginnings and new life. The physical traits assosciated with Aries are being adventurous, energetic, pioneering, courageous, enthusiastic, confident, dynamic and quick-witted. These traits also include being selfish, quick-tempered, impulsive, impatient, foolhardy and acting like a daredevil.

All these traits in you, whether you are an Arian or not, are magnified in the new spring air. The animal associated with Aries is a ram. The Sun in this zodiac position gives your will free rein to express itself, but be careful because the energy in the air may make people more aggressive, and therefore more quick tempered and easily offended.

It’s starting you know. The spring. The beginning of everything. Spring means new life, a freshness we’ve all been anticipating.

Everyone’s wearing teeshirts, doing their hair a bit nicer, smiling a bit more. It’s nice, exciting.

It’s kinda like I’m anticipating something, but I think I’m just happy right now, to know that something will happen soon – I just don’t know what.

I’m sure it’ll be good.

The earth is in Pisces right now, the 12th and final sign of the Zodiac. It is said that the prominent Pisces or Neptune enhances the physical traits associated with Pisces. These traits include being imaginative, sensitive, compassionate, kind, selfless, unworldly, intuitive and sympathetic. These traits also include being an escapist, idealistic, secretive, vague, weak-willed and easily led.

Be aware of all these traits, even if you are not the sign Pisces, as the mutable water sign keeps the emotions in a perpetual mix–blending all energies into one. The animal associated with Pisces is two fish swimming in different directions, which points up the inner tensions of the sign of pisces. Because the rein of Pisces doesn’t end officially until the winter does, these traits in everyone will be confused but enhanced.

The day breaks as a sheet of ice, causing the world to be thrown into a panic about their cars and driving times and plans for the week. Stress fills the air and everyone’s voices, “Wow have you seen it outside?” Yeah – I wasn’t out there this morning either. And NO ONE but you have made that comment yet today. Very clever.

I’m at a point, as the days go on, where I’m pretty much neutral. I don’t really care what goes on around me or what crises my friends are having at this moment. No, lately I pretty much do my thing, have my opinions, and fuck you if you don’t agree. I don’t give a shit.

People seem edgy. It’s the ice I think. The never-ending winter. It seems that way anyways, and people are getting jumpy. Everyone seems more willing to fight back, to take on challenges or arguments that normally wouldn’t bother them. Not me though. Well, that’s a complete lie. I mean, I’m sure I’m like that to a degree right now, but I’m just too tired for stress. It would just wear me out more, and I can’t deal with that.

I wish everything was perfect. With my family and my finances and my wonderful friends. Not that things aren’t great, but some stupid problem always seems to arise and I’m just plain exhausted of it all.

Life is like that I suppose. If I were to choose a feeling right now (though I can’t), it would be optimism (is that a feeling?). Whatever. I know summer will come again and the ice will be in our drinks and not under our feet. That’s when world will sigh with relief – things will be brighter soon.

It’s an ego thing. I mean, you were once mine, weren’t you? We once held hands and kissed and laughed and played, didn’t we?

Did I imagine it?

I don’t think I did, I have clear memories of you, alone in the dark or in a bar or dancing. We were once together, and I long ago accepted the fact that we’re not and won’t be again.

What’s the problem then?

Like I said, an ego thing. Why aren’t I good enough but she is? All those moments that you had with me, you’ll now enjoy them with her.

The question is, is it better? Is it worse? Will it last or die like we did?

Will you forget?

I don’t wanna know.