As a diminutive fella, the one holiday that I really enjoyed, in its entirety, was Halloween. I mean, Christmas was ok with the gifts but the relative chores made up for any positive aspects there might have been, it was stressful and riddled with frequent disappointments. Easter was a farce, a door prize of a holiday instigated by the Christians in their manifest assimilation of pagan cultures Maybe if the bunny was 7 feet tall and was known for devouring villagers it would have been slightly better). The rest of the holidays were either secular/historical or involved rules and restrictions that just made life less enjoyable. It was in Halloween that I was saved, for some reason it just made sense to me and deserved my full anticipation/appreciation. It might have been all those Creature Double Feature episodes that I ogled for hours on end, it’s hard to say. There was something about the omission of the regular rules that just filled me with glee. What else could a little hellion want, free bags of candy, scary stuffy everywhere it was like a little kids version of all those apocalyptic scenario movies without the real danger! It was a little bit like paradise…a big sugary roller coaster ride into hyperglycemic shock.

So, in remembrance of my lost childhood I will be roaming the streets of the Halloween capital of the world dressed as an apocalyptic Viking accompanied by Scurzy, CPT. Neurotic and the proper libations (of course!). If you’re lucky (and they aren’t!) there might just be pictures!

Let me know what everyone’s plans are, the more childish the better, post them in the comments!

annotated. …Annotated? AN ANNOTATED BILIOGRAPHY?!

Somedays it dosen’t pay to be a last minute academic anti-hero….especially not tonight!

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Only the unattainable things are worth having and then they are only valuable to those without them.

Why do I always feel like the fat girl in the anorexics meeting?~shrugs~

you can never be too organized, because the more you tidy up your own stuff the more untidy all the other stuff gets as a whole. This is how one can contribute to the proper functioning of the universe, without the moving of some stuff and continuing disorder of total stuff there is no stars, life, planets, caffeine or flying monkeybots. The universe would be a frozen tiny perfect crystal at absolute zero. Some people call this the law of entropy and go quoting thermodynamics and such. I call it the excuse i use to clean up my desk or Arcegno’s LAW OF STUFFS.

One problem the U.S. faces abroad is that other nations perceive good Old Uncle Sam to be forked tongued ,since he denounces some governments yet supports some corrupt ones, because it may protect his own intrests. This is somewhat unfair because those countries asses that we are forced to kiss in the middle east are truly out of necessity, Its a matter of national security and the preservation of freedom. If the U.S. had to try and keep them all in check it would be in ruin with nothing to fuel the flames of capitalism that are the backbone of its existence. It truly comes down to one thing…OIL. I remember lots of people complaining back in the days of the Gulf War, bitching that it was all about Oil and nothing else. Its No secret, that war was about Oil. It’s Oil that is the lifeblood of the industrialized world that we live in. The Act of unabashedly trying to control the sources of Oil for much of the world by force is nothing short declaring war on humanity. The Gulf war was a just war but people didn’t seem to want to see that unless there was some unwholesome body count which might force the world into countless acts of guilt and regret for genreations afterwards. The Balance of Power in this region has too long been tilted away from the States and its time they takes steps to remedy this.

The instrument I propose for destabilizing the Middle East, The Peanut. Rudolf Diesel, designer of the Engine that bears his name, originally designed the diesel engine to work off peanut oil. Later, Oil was treated to the for we know as diesel because it was thought to be cheaper. In these last years we have seen that the price we paid for crude oil has been higher than originally thought, its cost us some of our freedom, much of our credibility and far too much of our ideals. It’s an easy plan, with many benefits for everyone. The U.S. would be free of the stranglehold of foreign Oil merchants. There would be so little need for change in the automotive industry as opposed to the introduction of fuel cells and hybrid engines. The emissions involved with burning peanut oil, or any Biodiesel, are so low as to be negligible. The U.S. would have a real return on subsidizing farmers because not only is peanut oil a source but soy and even used cooking grease will work with just a little treatment of ethanol or methanol which are easily available. If farmers were to use soybeans in their crop rotations the soil would be enriched with nitrogen, actually making soil better to grow food again and the soy would bring in more money while doing so. If the US were to implement this then the price of Crude in the Middle East would drop and lessen the likely hood of another Dictator in the desert making a brazen dash to strangle the world. In time, the Middle East would probably need to buy their peanut oil and soy Oil from the U.S.

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I apologize for my prolonged periods of sloth and disregard but this slave galleon has more than one pair of oars…. my limbs grew weary as they will from time to time. I apparently don’t have the pent up hatred of fashion and popular culture that Old Jessie might but occasionally I try. I don’t have the stomach to believe that others might really enjoy posts about the mundane aspects of my daily life (i.e. those without narrative of some type), the details are irrelevant out of context and frankly I don’t want to give out too much information for the assimilators. In spite of that, I have been going through some events and changes that have been involving my ability to focus on much at all. Yup its true, I suck…but hey, you already knew that.

I hope to have some regular post of varying content in the near future but its difficult to determine what effort might be best put forth without foreknowledge of this sites fate. It would be akin to repairing the masts while even the rats are paddling away on pieces of the bow. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.

Who knows with any sort of luck you may see Capt. Neurotic gracing the pages OE with grand sweeping epics of bravery or at least his discourse on shoes and their geopolitical nature. That wild and crazy Capt. its tough to know what he’ll do next!

Once this was a seaworthy vessel…but the buckets don’t empty themselves.

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“I can stop anytime I want to!” that’s what I keep telling myself as I pace back and forth past the home of my beloved addiction. I kid myself into thinking that opening the door a little won’t be a problem, “just one last peek!” Then as soon as I look its all over, I reach my hand out and before a thought can even occur both my hands are around that beautiful neck. I proceed to gulp until I nearly pass out from the lack of oxygen. Yup its true, caffeine I am your bitch.
I don’t remember how it ever got started, most likely, it was soda that was the culprit in the first place and has remained my vehicle of choice through out the years. Maybe I was trying to rebel , my parents tried keeping the beloved liquid from me as a youngster. Around Boston , we call the caramel monkey Tonic instead of soda like in other parts of the country, there might be some conditioned response happening as a result but I haven’t seen any statistics to correlate this quite yet. Who really knows, It doesn’t really fucking matter at this point I just know that I like the rush of sugar and caffeine. I like the way it makes me feel! Is that so wrong?!
I could blame society and with good reason. Just take a minute to consider some of the facts. If you were even alive and sentient in the eighties you might remember the Pepsi challenge, or as I call it the COLA WARS. Not since the OPIUM WARS has so much effort by any governments been put into controlling the flow of such addictive bullion. If you think that I might be crazy in calling Pepsi co. Or Coke governments but have you seen what either company actually owns? We could spend much time going over the details but its safe to say they would neither have much problems buying up many small island nations at the drop of a hat. Theirs are more akin to the shadow governments that every conspiracy nut creams over. Anyways, the point is that 80-90% of Americans ingest some form of caffeine every day and those Cola companies are constantly spreading their tentacles out into the furthest reaches of the know world (The Gods must be Crazy made a good point of this absurdity ). Its no wonder that nearly every American fast food joint has free refills, its merely the Cola giants reinforcing their vice like grip on the poor addicts of the land looking merely to ingest some processed beef products. Junkies like me count on this, I have ordered the super size more than once just to down some of that caramel nectar. The real reason that no one is trying to prevent caffeine usage is that our twenty-four hour society would possibly crumble without it unlike tobacco the country needs caffeine junkies. Just think of programmers trying to exist without some form of caffeine if not my beloved Cola. There are whole websites whose underlying theme involves the laurels of a caffeine-derived wealth and happiness. Hell even the government has researched was to keep the troops in ever ready states of alertness. They don’t care that they are junkies…. they are trying to create them!
Once I tried to kick, after the terrible head aches finally passed I was ok for a while. I even tried that health stuff out, lifting weights for two-hours-a-day six days of the week. I cut all caffeine from my diet, no chocolate, no cola, no soda, no chocolate, no tea, and no fun. I went cold turkey from the caramel monkey. Then the inevitable relapse occurred in Hiroshimic fashion. I was with a musician friend of mine and we were meeting up with two other guys at the local all-night-pancake-house. I had ordered a decaf because it was cheap and I was cold. We were there a long time, discussing bands and the like, little did I know that the next seven or eight cups were no longer decaf. I had not had caffeine in almost three of four years. Arriving home that night, the best I could do was to shake violently and was on the verge of hearing voices and hallucinating. Since that night, I have been the concubine of caffeine once more.
I may never be able to quite my habit but I’m not quite sure I want to . It might just be that I will be swilling the Tonic long after I’ve lost my limbs, eyesight and kidney function to diabetes…then bury me in a mountain of coffee beans and tea leaves when finally the rest gives out.
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Hope is the cruelest joke of all.

Living is merely the suicide attempt of a procrastinator.