Ever since I started writing in blogs I’ve wanted to start off an entry with “Grr.. I am so angry!” Dunno why! But that’s the first thing that always comes to mind when I start to write something that will eventually show its ugly head online. Today happens to be a day when I will, & can truthfully use that sentence…

Grrrrrr!!!!! I am so damn angry! I am not having the best of days & it’s not even 8am! I went to bed @ about 2:15 this morning thinking I would get a nice, normal sleep tonight, but my body had other plans for me. See, first off, I decided (actually, I ran out of cigarettes) that I’d try, yet again, to quit smoking. So, it’s around 1am; I stick on a patch & surf the net a bit. I haven’t been feeling well the last couple of days.. Temps been up, woozy, etc, etc. So not 10 minutes later, guess who shows up! Aunt Rose!

If you don’t know what that means, you’re probably better off (~nudge~nudge~ the rag, the monthlies… My period, for you loose screws)! & Don’t even squirm about that because you don’t have the right unless you deal with it.

So anyways… I’ve got my patch on.. I’m bleeding….. I’m in pain!! & The worst part is, that the patch keeps me up. So this morning, instead of getting what could of been the best damn sleep I’ve had in a week or two, or three, for that matter.. I’m dealing with insomnia & nausea. Hah! What a mix. What a $#@*!#% mix! Oh ya, & withdrawals. Geebuz! ~slams head on desk~

The patch, thank god for it keeping me filled with nicotine goodness, but the insomnia!! Not now! I get enough of that without the patch, thank-you very much! But compared to ‘patch-insomnia’, it’s nothing! I mean, it’s BAD! I swear, this thing is just pumping caffeine into my veins, & although caffeine in liquid form will make me pass out while standing, it has a completely opposite effect when it’s stuck to my forearm.

I think I did sleep maybe an hour, but I lay in bed with dry mouth for.. Hold on — let me count.…. 3 hours! Though, there is one thing I do like about the patch. When I finally do get some sleep, I have the most insane, neurotic, & vivid dreams! It’s unbelievable. They’re so realistic & memorable. I love that! But nothing compares to a nice drag of a nicotine stick. Nothing.

I am so addicted.

Oh ya, btw.. Tomorrow will make it 2 years since I’ve smoked pot regularly. As in, almost every day (a couple times a day) for 4 years, although I have, once in a blue moon (3 blue moons when my mother showed up out of nowhere) smoked a joint in the past 2 years.